You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
