i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
