covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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