Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
