I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
