And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
