I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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