Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
