So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
