Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
