I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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