smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am available for nakedness
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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