If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
