dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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