Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
