k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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