physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
