he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
