So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
