im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
