Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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