belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
