Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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