You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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