Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
