Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
