So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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