I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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