covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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