yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
