I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
