I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
