My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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