I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
