hell yes lets make some ravioli
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..