I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
