She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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