at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
