the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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