Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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