Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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