Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
