1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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