If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
