I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I want to fling myself into the sun
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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