I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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