I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
