Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
