lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
