Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
