sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
