What did we do last night that was yellow?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
