dude i'm inner monologue high
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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