He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
