That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
