Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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