If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
