He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
