some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
