Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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