so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize