he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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