Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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