dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
