i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't turn off my feet"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
