he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
