So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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