so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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